How to move on?

Lately, life has thrown me little too many curve balls. And since I am not the best catcher and never really have been, I'm now facing too many situations I simply can not handle in the best way.

I am not going to be too private here, but among the things that have happened, I can tell you about a loss of a very close relative. My beloved grandmother. A person that always has been there for me, no matter what. Every time I needed a good advice or just to call and hear her voice, she was there. And I always felt so much stronger after talking to her. She always said the right things. And her belief in me never ended. That kept me going on in life.

Only two weeks after coming back from Italy, I was back on the plane, this time going home, to my roots. Now it was to say the last farewell and to face my family and my past. I can not describe how strange it was to not be able to see my grandmother, waiting in the doorway, as I came up the stairs. To not sit with her in the kitchen having many of her wonderful cakes and wonderful home cooking. To not hear her voice... When I needed it the most. I have never felt so lonely. Even though she has been ill for many years and I haven't been able to speak to her for a very long time, she always has been there anyway. And that has given me strength. I know in my heart she's still around us, watching over her family. But at the same time I just can not grasp that she is gone.

I'v red that it takes time to understand and heal from a loss of a person that has been close to you. I honestly don't know how to move on... How do people cope? I read about it on the internet and I talk to people, and all I hear and see is, that it takes time and that your mood can shift for a while...  All I want is to make it go faster. I want to push fast forward and let it be summer or at least spring. Not the middle of dark November... But at the same time I am thankful it is soon Christmas with all it's lights, music and wonderful smells... I really don't have the perfect ending for this post, but I know that winter always turns to spring. I know that time will heal all wounds... Even mine...

Where do I begin...

This has been an incredible week! First, my sweet love came to me after a long time no see... then I launched my website and finally I received my Gohonzon. It has been a week filled with LOVE and JOY! I have been surroundet with amore mio and my closest friends, new friends and old. Everywhere I have been there has been so much love that it could go around the world and back! I am still floating on a cloud...  so so happy! Good whises have come one after another and I am overwhelmed. It has been one of the best times in my life and I can only wish that more people could have come to share this moments with me. I am so thankful for everything I am receiving that I want to tell the world about how wonderful this Buddhism is! I am getting stronger day by day and I am more and more determined to reach my goals! All of them! I am already on my way and I am already reaching them, one by one. That is for sure, And I incourage all of you to do the same! Reach for your dreams and goals and never ever give up! 


"If you fall down seven times, get up on the eighth. In other words, do not give up when you feel discouraged, just pick yourself up and renew your determination each time.! Daisaku Ikeda"

Too long no write...

So, It can easily be said that I've been pretty busy since I decided to start my photo blog. So busy, that I kinda forgot this one on the shelf to collect a lot of dust. But now, in waiting times for the new website and that there hasn't been that many photos to add to the new blog... I thought it was about time to try to breath some life in the old one. Where I can write and post almost anything else than things that are related to my pics. Or maybe little bit of everything...

Since june, I haven't left Scandinavia. These are the first 3 months in a row in a year, that I am staying in one place, not going nowhere... And I can tell you that I am getting a bit restless. But due to some things, it seems that I am here to stay for a little while. It's not all bad I must admit. Eventhough it hasn't been much of a summer here in Sweden, it still has been a summer filled with great moments and new and exciting things. I have made new friends, I kinda started working again after a little break, I started a new blog ( I took the chance to show my work to the world, and did I ever get blown away by the reaction!) and lot of other fun moments.

And yes! I have advanced in my Buddhist practice! This summer I have been preparing myself for the moment that is soon to come... In 6 days to be exact, I am receiving the Gohonzon. It is a very important moment in every Buddhist life and after almost 10 months of practising Nichiren_Buddhism it is now my turn. I am very exited to take my practise to another level. I can honestly tell you that I am amazed by all the benefits I have received since I've started. And few I have already told you about here on this blog. But with a deeper practise and strengthen faith, also come without a doubt, obstacles in various forms. Cause once you get stronger in your faith, the stronger the resistance gets. That is when you keep on practising day after day never gvining up; To become a stronger and happier person and to overcome all obstacles in life... To make your personal revolution.

And that is what I am doing here in Sweden. Even if I am not getting anywhere at the moment, I know that my stay here is only because I am preparing myself. I am building up something for the future. Something solid and strong. And I know when the time is right, and before I can imagine, I will be back where I belong.
Even stronger than last time. Even more convinced that this is my place. I have no doubt.

Until next! Take care and see you around!

Nam myoho renge kyo

Nothing lasts forever..

My life has an tendency to take an U-turn whenever I least expect it... And before I know it, I find my self in a situation far away from where I was the day before. And after a while all these twists and turns start to make me kinda carsick. Not knowing if I should keep looking on the road or if to concentrate on something else that could distract me for the moment... something that could make me less sick and dizzy. But I have learned with time, that watching the road, where you are actually are going is the only way to stop feeling nauseous. The trick is to look straight a head and focus.

So this is where I am at this very moment, trying to look forward and to focus. It isn't always easy and I don't always believe it is the right way. Cause eventhough I know that it is the only way, I am not really convinced. I always try to tell myself that there is another way, when in fact there isn't.

The fact is, that IF you want to stop this uncomfortable feeling, you have to follow the right instructions... Otherwise it won't work. No matter how much you want to find another way, there sometimes just isn't that option. You just have to accept and keep on looking forward. And like with everything else here in life, this bad feeling (and it can be the worst feeling you know) will come to an end. Cause as we all know, that no matter what it might concern, nothing lasts forever...

Everybody speaks Italiano

So here I am...  A straniero in a foreign country desperately trying to make it my new home...

Some days are, I have to say, much easier than others and I wake up quite happy and in a good mood in the mornings... (even thought it is to the sound of the garbage truck that for some reason visits our street more often than I think would be necessary....)  The street I live on, is despite it's size, a very lively street. Filled with sounds and smells (from someone cooking) and people and cars and vespas (scooters).... And yes, the mosquito's! From early morning till late night there is always something going on. I also have a football field as next door neighbor accompanied with 2 restaurants or osterias, a church and a shelter for homeless people... I've been around quite a lot in this new town of mine, and still I haven't seen a street like this one yet. So I guess it is rather unique.

Some days I feel so at home here. All my feelings are in sync with my surroundings and I feel it with every nerve in my body that I am TRULY living in a dream. A dream I've been having for so many years. I don't get annoyed by anything or anybody, and even though I hardly understand a word what people are saying, I still somehow understand. Just because I feel like a part of it all. And I feel HAPPY!!!

And then we have the other days.... The less good ones. When I don't really understand what I am doing here, what people are saying, why they are like they are and behave like they do... and suddenly EVERYBODY is speaking ITALIANO!!! = Not only with words but with their whole body. And I don't like it or get it at all... I feel like an alien, a straniero... Everything goes on my nerves and I become a very difficult person to deal with and live with. And I hate the mosquito's!!!! (Not that I like them, but at least I stand them...)

So why on earth or how can this wonderful place bring out so different emotions in me? Is this just a "normal" thing to feel and go through when you make a drastic change in your life? Or is it something else? I honestly don't get it. I have now been travelling back and forth the last 7 months or so, not knowing WHERE I belong. Once in one country I miss the other. At certain points I've been feeling torned in 2. And as soon as I leave for the other place it feels good, but there's something missing. I've got people I love and care for in each country so obviously that is killing me, to have to choose whom to be close to or not. I wish I could have all in one place. But I know that is just not an option I have. So could the answer be this? Or why is this so hard? I remember when I left my home country back in the days for that country that now has become my "old" country. It took some time to get used to be a broad, but I got over it. And also I was very young... I saw the world in a different light you could say. Now it's another story. Or isn't it?`Am I just experiencing it all over again what I did than, but that I just forgotten how it really was?

So if you who reads this, knows what I am talking about or if you know somebody who does, please do share. Let's talk!

Until next time... Thanks for hanging around all the way! I do appreciate it!

Note: Please please please, don't think that I don't like the Italians or their language. I LOVE the Italian language and the Italians are fantastic! :O)

A presto!

Taking the big step...

Few weeks ago I decided to take ( for me) a big step and show my photo art on facebook (where everybody could see it and I mean EVERYBODY... which can be a good thing as well as a very bad thing... (idea maybe?)) I've been thinking for a while what on earth I should (could) do, firstly about my longing of becoming an good photographer, secondly what kind of photography I would like to make and finally how and where to show it to everybody (anybody??) that might be slightest interested and hopefully get some credit. But as this world of ours is quite big and many people (and many very talented people) in it, I went around thinking that my shot to be noticed among all this people, was rather slim... But since I am definitely not the only artist that has thought those thoughts, I decided to push them aside and start believing what so many people have told me through the years, that I DO have a talent. Even though it might (read: will )need some polishing... So off I went and started taking some serious photos, really planing my shots hoping for one or two good pics at least... No need to say, thanks to my ADHD, I soon discovered that, THAT was not a plan I could stick to for a longer period of time. And as quickly as that idea had come to me, it went flying out the window... Instead I decided to let my mind and fantasy free and shoot what ever might catch my eye each and every time.

To make a long story short; I am now producing art of my photos. I take a picture and manipulate it you could say till I'm happy with the outcome. I hope that somewhere down the road, sooner or later one or more of my pics will catch someones eyes and who knows what will be...

Until then, I will gladly keep on being creative and express how I see this world. A world that looks so different to each of us at the same time that there is only one.

Thanks for dropping by. Welcome back anytime!

Back in business

So here I am, back on my old Blog in the times of Facebooking and Twittering... But since I'm an old fashioned guy, and a bit of a habit person, I like to, sooner or later, return to old and familiar places...

More than a year has passed by since my last post and a lot of water has passed under the good old bridge. After my latest adventure which took me all the way to Italy, I decided to start writing again, if not only to tell my story but also to put this in a sort of a time capsule. So I and my friends can go back and read and remember all the great things I lived while being there, when ever we feel like.

So now I have to leave you, but I will be back very soon with my story from Italy.

Be well and take good care of eachother.

The Vagabond

Time flies

So here I am again... just few weeks later than I planned. I did mean to write after my last mini trip, but as we all know, time tends to fly and suddenly you realize that weeks have gone by.

So what has happened? Well, I did go to see my friends and I did have a great time... I even went for a "swim" in the ocean, which doesn't happen very often, to tell you the truth. It was really refreshing, but nothing that I feel the need to do too often... I prefer to sit on the beach and just watch it (the ocean). It makes me calm and at peace. That's enough for me.

So once I was back, full of new-found energy, I decided that it was time to start finding a way to finance my big trip to the US of A. I started by checking my personal letter and CV... just to find out that it needed a full make over...Few weeks later and I have a new letter and a improved CV. I feel satisfied with my latest achievement, but the question is, is it enough? I mean, let's face the fact; I am over 40, I haven't finished my high school nor do I have any other proper education and no, I am not in my 20's any more... Plus I haven't been working for ages... or so it feels. So what are my chances to find a good work? The times are tougher and the jobs are fewer, which means that there are more people for every new job. I can only hope that A: things are going to change soon... B: the employers are looking for someone a little bit older and someone with experience. At least that is what I have... Experience...

Staying home and with little money in your pocket, can make anyone go insane.. That is if you have to stay that way for months or even years... In the end you feel that anything is better than that and you are prepared to take (almost) any job that comes along. So that is where I am at this moment... I am ready to take what ever might come along. I've been spending hours at the computer refining my CV and looking for a job... And as my applications fly into the cyberspace, I get more frustrated and worried that there are really no jobs for someone in my position.

And I am not only looking close to my home... I am practically looking everywhere! Cause I know that I might have to move. It's not my first hand choice but hey, it's something I need to do. Cause time IS flying by... So if not now, then when?

I've been spending to much time just thinking that I have enough time and that the right opportunity will eventually come along. But I guess that is not going to happen if I just stay here by my computer... Life is not going to come and knock on my door with an job offer or anything else for that matter ;O) It never has, it never will.

Until next, thanks for stopping by! Take care!
The restless vagabond.

On the road again...

Finally I'm off for some new adventures! Last night I tumbled over a cheap ticket to Gothenburg on the internet. I had almost given up the idea of going, when I found it and I wasn't late to book it either. So this afternoon I'm going to visit some dear friends of mine and it isn't everyday I have the opportunity to do so... Just getting away, even though for just few days, is exactly what I need right now. It's such a feeling of freedom, to be able to travel... And as most of you know by now, I am hooked on travelling! Long trips or short, doesn't matter. Just to get to pack my bag and leave everyday grey life behind is something we all need to do now and then. Just to recharge our batteries and get some new strength. And if you can't travel for some reason, you should at least get out and explore the area you are living in. Whether it's the beach or a walk in the forest... That is at least what I should be doing more off. I am so fortuned to be living close to both so I really should enjoy this more than I do... Well off I go, need to catch the train. I'll be back with lots of pics! Take care! The Vagabond!

Proud!

A few years ago, a person who's very close to me, went through a really tough time. It was not only tough for that person, but for everyone else around too. But, as families and friends do when things get tough, we stuck together as much as we could. And because we did, we got through this trial and today we are closer than ever.

I believe that anything IS possible if you set your mind to it, and if you have a family and friends that believe in you and support you no matter what.

Life is full of trials and tests and some are tougher than others. And if you are week, some trials can be just too much and all you can do is to give in... In times like that, it is so important that you don't give up. It is so important to let people around you know how you're feeling and what you are going through and that you need them more than ever. There is no time to let pride take charge. Easier said than done, I do know. Sometimes it takes so much energy to just talk about what is going on.

But if you don't reach out for help... It is going to be so much tougher.

And today I am so glad that this person did reach out. And as a family we fought against this demon that had taken over things and lifes too much.

Two years have past and today I have a new chance to build a new and healthy relationship with the concerned. Everyday I am so thankful that we did get a second change and that this person got a new start and a change for healthy and happy life. I just can imagine what a hell it must have been to go through. And I hope and pray that no one else that I care for, will ever have to go down that road.

I just want to say to the concerned, and you know who you are when you read this;
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! And I am so thankful that you are still in my life. And I am so looking forward to get to know you better and I wish you all the luck and fortune in the world!!

Love to you all!

To learn how to enjoy what you already have...

So here I go again... another try to write down something meaningful yet not too serious...

The thing is, I have a rather big problem. Is not a bad "problem", it's more a tiring one. To make a long story short, and for you that don't know me too well... I have ADHD = attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It simply means that my brain works in mysterious ways. Not always easy to understand for my self or others.

This problem, one of many, is that I get very very easily tired of things and places (and sometimes it goes even further than that. But that's another story).

So after years and years of moving around and throwing stuff that I thought I didn't need or want.. (caused by the never ending need to be on the move... in other words places and things I'd gotten tired of and therefore I need a change...) I am now trying to turn things around and learn to accept, appreciate and enjoy what I have and where I am, at this moment. Cause really, nothing lasts forever... Life is just a long series of moments... That's at least how I see it. Sorry if this is a bit confusing. But please bare with me.

I've reached a point in my life where I've gotten tired of this pattern, this endless need of being on the move and getting rid of stuff, just ending up buying everything again and again... Now I just want to learn how to enjoy what I already have.

So how do you avoid getting so tired of the everyday life that you need a new start, all the time? I know we all get tired sometimes of our everyday routines and we all need to get away from time to time... But normal people don't change their address or their entire home whenever they get tired of it. You make your choice on where to live and what things to buy, and you stick to it and you put up with it at least for a while (read years...) And it also goes for what eduction or job you might choose. Big decisions are made for things that are supposed to last. But it seems that my brain doesn't get that. It just thinks; OK this is boring, I don't like it any more, time for something new! And believe me, after years and years of these kind of thoughts and impulsive acts, I am now officially tired. I am so tired that I've been living at the same place for more than a year (and it's not even my own place!) And this really is not the best time to be too tired...

Now and then I get those annoying thoughts that I should leave just once more and start all over again (Which I will need to do sooner or later whether I like it or not ). But even though I (try to) leave and "this time it's for good", I always end up returning to the same place (again, not my own)...

So what is it that is really happening? Could this be, that I have changed or am changing and that I actually like what I have? (for once) And that I am actually enjoying it too? Could it be, that my need for a place on my own, has changed? Maybe I don't want to live on my own... Maybe it is quite all right to share a flat with a friend? I mean, it maybe isn't that bad to have someone to talk to when you are feeling lonely... I am not saying it's all easy always, but then again, what is?

If I really disliked my current life situation, wouldn't I been out of here long time ago? I know this isn't a long term solution, BUT it isn't the worst either... I don't lack anything really. So why can't I just relax here and now and just enjoy it as long as it lasts? Why worry all the time and why always stay busy planning my life, the next step when I could instead enjoy all the good things that are around me and all the good people that care for me RIGHT NOW!

That my friends is a lesson I need to learn. And I actually think I am starting to get it. It will take time that I know, but I feel something is happening and something is changing...

Thanks for stopping by, I do appreciate it :O) Feel free to comment.

Love, the Vagabond

Long time no see...

Howdy!

It´s been a while since I wrote something so I guess its time...
Since last time I´ve been to Iceland and back... Just to realize that I have no clue where I belong.
I just find myself more confused than ever. I always thought that when you get older you become more wiser... Well in this case it´s not true. I just don´t get it any more. I wish I had some one to tell me why things are the way they are. But I guess that at the end of the day, I am the only one with the right answer.

So back in Sweden once again for the.... I have no idea any more how many times I´ve returned... And to be honest I am getting so tired of this behaviour and pattern that I seem to be stuck in. So how do I break loose and find a new way? Where on earth will I find the courage to just let go of old habits? And what does it take to make me dare to do so?

I only wish I had the answer and I wish I had it today. If any one sees this and recognizes this feeling and has come up with a good solution, please DO share :O)

Be well where ever and who ever you are! Peace!

Going home...

Finally I've got the ticket! In little more than one week, I'll be on the plane with my dear mom on my way to good ol' Iceland! Yesterday she came to Sweden for the first time. It is goin to be so much fun to show her where I live and where I've been spending many years of my adult life... Just lets hope the weather will be on our side and let the sun shine at least for some days... Right now it all feels a bit dizzy... It's not often I get a visit from Iceland. I guess it takes few days to adjust and get used to the idea... But one thing is sure... It's gonna be a great time!

Later!

promises and plans...

Okey, it's been a while since my last post, but I've been kinda busy thinking of where I'm going and of course turning 40!

So with that taken care off, (well at least the turning 40 part...) I now think I can start focusing on other things. Many thoughts have crossed my mind and I've made too many decisions that I know deep down inside I'll never follow through... At least not all of them...

The once that I am actually going to follow through are:

1. A trip to Iceland
2. Work at Stockholm Pride
3. Save money for a new camera
4. Save money for the USA trip

It's going to be tough, but if I just put my mind to it, I know I can do it all. I just need to have a good plan and a budget! These are things I really want to do, so there should be no reason why I can't do it. I just need to get in touch with the more economic side of my self, which I know I have and just make it happen! :O)

That thing, that I've reached a new point in my life has made me think, that if I don't do it now, then when? I just can't sit around making lots of plans that'll never will see the light of day...
All this confusion doesn't only affect me... There are lots of people around me that count on that I'll keep my promises...

I truly sometimes hate the fact that I am "suffering" from ADHD... It makes my brain work in a mysterious way... It's not all negative to have ADHD, it makes me the person I am, in both good and bad ways. I just tend to make promises that I sometimes just can't keep. And my intentions aren't bad... it just works that way... I promise too much and I am an hopeless optimist!

So to try to stop that bad behaviour, I tone down my promises. I try to not promise any big things or too much. It takes lot of practise and unfortunately, lots of broken promises... But I am doing my best and I am trying. That much I can promise you.

So let's keep our fingers crossed (or not?) and hope I'll make it to Iceland to begin with!

Take care!

The BIG 4 0 !

Finally the 1st of May arrived and I was suddenly 40!

I had my celebration almost for 24 hours plus 2 more days as some friends couldn't make it on the actual birthday.

It was nothing like I had imagined BUT so much better! Almost all of my closest friends were here to celebrate with me and I am very thankful for that... Those who couldn't come at all I will meet soon to keep the party going!

Thank you all for remembering my big day!

Not everyday is filled with great dreams and big plans...

So after reading other blogs and seeing what people are talking about out there, I've realized that my posts do not always have to be about my BIG travel plans and dreams. Sometimes I could just write about the place I'm at and the everyday boredom there is... and feel OK about it.
But sometimes it's hard to face things as they are, especially if their not as you would like them to be. I mean if I was really happy with my life, I wouldn't be sitting here talking about how much I want to leave it all and start all over again (and turn back the clock a few years or so). But that is not going to happen, not right now at least, (nor can I change the time). So all there is, is to face the fact that I've spent too much time here, stop whining about it and start doing something to prevent that the next 20 yrs or so will be spent the same way.
It will take time to turn things around. Rome wasn't built in one day, or that's what they say... So every morning I get up and each day looks pretty much the same. Even the evenings are starting to look too much the same... It feels like I'm living the same day all over again, over and over... and that scares me...
You've probably seen movies about people living the same day over and over until they get it. I mean until they understand what they need to do to make things right. I know what I'm doing wrong and until I can fix it (the big picture), I need to make small changes, one at the time... There is no shortcut.
Everyday life is kinda boring. Really. Doesn't matter if you're working or not, if you have family or live on your own... It all pretty much looks the same. If you let it. I think it's the details that make the big picture... You change one little thing and the rest will change with it... I'm always thinking I need to make big changes to make things better. But I guess that's not the answer.
So to get to where I really want to be, I need to take lots of small small steps (make changes) to make the whole picture (my life) as I want it to be... Are you with me?

To know the difference between boring and fun, we all need to have our share of the rollercoaster ride... And as much as I hate it sometimes, I know it's not gonna last forever. You know the saying that "what goes up, must come down" in this case... it's reversed. It will come up again. Things will turn and they do before you know it!

Take care and thanks for dropping by!

The Bucket List; things to do before you die... and things I've done.

Here's something just for fun...

Things I would like to do:

• Run a bar on a tropical beach
• Live in Malibu
• Drive a Corvette Stingray on Highway 1 (California) with the roof down...
  
• Smoke a Cuban cigar in Cuba
• Cruise in the West Indies
  
• Swim with Dolphins
• Go to Oktoberfest
• Visit the Carnival In Rio
• See the 7 Wonders of the World
• Make a million
• Learn to ride a horse
• Walk the Inca Trail
• Party in Vegas, and bet it all on Black
• Learn to Surf
• Dive the Great Barrier Reef
• Go sailing on the Whitsundays
• Go on a 4x4ing
  
• Trek a jungle and camp over night
• Witness a solar eclipse
  
• Walk the Great Wall of China
• Escape to a paradise Island
• Elephant Trekking
• Meet someone famous
• See the Orangutans in Borneo
  
• See Dolphins in the wild
• Spend new years eve at Sydney Harbour
• Spend Christmas Day on a beach
• See the Monaco Grand Prix
• White Water Rafting
• Learn to ride a motorbike

And things I've done:

• Rollerblade on Venice Beach
• See the Niagara Falls
  
• Go to the top of World Trade Centre and Empire State Building
  
• Travel around the world
• Get a Tattoo
  
• Have kids
  
• Crash a party
• Go on a blind date
• Kiss someone without ever speaking to them
• Embarrass yourself at Karaoke
• Spend stupid amounts of money on a night out
• Work on a Farm
• Party until the sun comes up
• Volunteer in a foreign country
• See the Northern Lights
• Do something illegal
• See a sunrise
• Watch the sun set
• Live in a Foreign Country
• Go rock climbing
• Climb a mountain
• Go on a Jet Boat
• See a Volcano
• Play Pool for Money
• Book a One Way Ticket travelling, and go alone!

More to come....

Californian Dreamin'

Big Sur, California

Happy Easter!

Spring is definitely here and the sun is warming up me and you and everything around us.
When the sun starts shining and the sky gets bluer than blue, I can't help dreaming about the summer to come and endless hours at the beach watching countless sunsets... I have always loved the ocean and the beach... and watching sunsets... Where I grew up, there were no beaches to hang out, neither a chance to swim into the sunset... So I spent the most of my childhood dreaming. And I swore, that one day I would live by the beach or at least, close to one. I ended up living in the southern part of Sweden on the west coast with the sun setting in to the sea. Making a part of my lifelong dream coming true. But ever since I moved here, there has been this wanderlust. A indescribable feeling that I should be somewhere else.

Have you noticed, that sometimes even though you already know the answer, it still is difficult to take that step and make things happen? Something is holding you back but you can't get rid of the feeling that you should be doing something completely different or be somewhere else.

My problem is that I always find some kind of an excuse for not doing things, stopping my self from living MY life as I should be living it. Often the reason or the excuse has been simply that I was afraid of the unknown. But also I think I've listened too much to some people. The wrong people. The ones that don't dare or can live their own dreams, for some reason.

But enough is enough. I can't live my life being afraid or hesitating all the time. If you spend your life always standing on one leg, you won't get very far...

So to stop making the same old mistakes and starting living my life, I need to start walkin, using my both legs so to speak. I am not going to hesitate any more nor am I going to keep on being afraid of living.

Back in 1996 I made my first "around the world" trip. Making one of my old dreams coming true. I travelled to Canada and saw the mighty Niagara Falls and the beautiful city of Toronto, I went to the Big Apple and saw the fantastic World Trade Centre and Empire State Building and I went rollerblading in Central park. And I went to California! I saw Venice beach and Hollywood. But there were so many things I didn't see and ever since I left LA, I've dreamt of returning one day.

I don't think there are many people that love the States, that haven't dreamt of seekin the good life that awaits in LA... And yes I know, LA is not all about dreams coming true and that everything gets an happy ending... But that is not this blog is all about. It's about my personal dreams and hopes... But also my experiences and trips. So yes, I'm gonna keep on dreaming about my LA and what I hope finding there.

So back on track... A while ago I decided to bring back this old dream to life and start planing for my next visit. Even though my plans for my next trip have been many and often unrealistic, this one keeps coming back. And I think it might be for a reason. If I'm not going to follow this through now, then when? I am actually turning 40 very soon, and to be honest, I ain't getting any younger ;O) So as long as I can I will keep on travelling and this time it will be LA and the rest of California... at least the part between LA and SF. Including Highway 1... I might spend couple of months there, depending... I would love to do some WWOOFing (volunteering on organic farms) while I'm there. Mixing "business" with pleasure. Also couchsurfing is another great way to meet people and learn about the culture and what it really is like to be living in America.

The sad thing is, that it's only April and I won't be leaving until later this summer. But hey! It's always sunny in California! And I will be able to save up enough money to survive for a while.
So when the rain starts pouring down in Sweden, I'll be soaking up the sun, hopefully on the beach in Malibu.

Have a great Easter y'all and see you soon... with more dreams and plans!

Feel free to comment!

Spring is here and dreams come alive!

For a while I've been thinking I should be more effective when it comes to this Blog. But sometimes life has other plans, and lately I've been "busy" doing more "important" stuff... Or so I thought. Almost 2 months have passed and nothing has really changed. I'm back where I started earlier in february and finally starting to understand, that the plans I thought were important, were instead just a disillusion. So back to square 1 and feeling good that I am...

Finally spring has arrived to my city and all the worries of the winter are bygones... Summer is just around the corner, or so it feels and I'm already dreaming of the warm summer breeze and bright nights. When summer arrives in Sweden, it usually rains most of the time... But even though we have a wonderful wheather when it's good, many of us choose to travel abroad anyway, to the sun and the good and carefree life that awaits...

It is indeed wonderful to be able to travel and see the world. Some of us are fortunated and can travel to a new place every year or even to several places in one year... Some of us travel every second year or less... and some never or seldom get the chance to get away at all...
And if they do, it is because you been saving all you can for a longer period of time...

Meanwhile your saving, it can be a good idea to try to enjoy and use what you already got at home... And yes it can be a real pain when all you want is to make that special trip but instead you're stuck at home... In that town and in those streets you already seen so many times and gotten sick and tired of so so many times... But those who wait... always get rewarded in the end.

Why I'm saying this, is because this is exactly where I am at the moment... Stuck and sick and tired of it. All I want is to jump on the plane (any plane really) and fly somewhere where it's warm and life has a much slover pace... But that's not how it's gonna be for a while, so now all there is, is to enjoy what I've got instead of wanting what I can't get.

So again, spring is here and it doesn't have to be so bad after all... There are so many great things in life to take part in, if you only open your eyes and mind. And even for someone like me... with zero patience there is hope... I've decided to make the most of it until I've saved enough and carefully made a good plan that will last, and not leave me broke somewhere far far away from home. When you get older, you also get wiser. And you learn from old mistakes... Hopefully!
Once a Vagabond, always a Vagabond... I will most certainly never stop traveling or dreaming of it, and until my next adventure there's not much to do than accept things as they are.

So who ever sees this and feels the way I do, don't give up your dream! We will get there one day... It might feel like it's never gonna happen, but it will! So enjoy springtime and keep on dreaming!

Dreaming of Malibu...

Malibu logo... my new tattoo...

My dream house... Malibu beach...

Today I am obsessed with two things and the common denominator is that both have the name Malibu.

The first Malibu is an incorporated city in western Los Angeles County, California, United States.
A strip of the Pacific coastline; a beachfront community famous for its warm, sandy beaches, and for being the home of countless movie stars and other famous people... Maybe not exactly the place one could easily just move to or even visit for a day... Why I have become so obsessed with this place I do not know. But as long as I can remember I've had this longing of going there and with lots and lots of luck, maybe even live there at some point of my life. If not for a longer period of time, then at least just for a brief moment... I love the ocean and I love the beach and the westcoast... and for me Malibu represents the ultimate beach , the place where you cant get any further before it all starts over again... the final westcoast with its magnificent sunsets...

Now and then I search the internet for beachfront houses in Malibu... That is rental houses.
And there is plenty to choose from. And what amazes me, is that it isn't that expensive as you might think... So with a litle planning and maybe few good friends to join you, it is not that impossible to make this dream come true! Just imagine you and some of your best friends sitting on the porch in the sunset... sipping on a icecold cocktail or beer with nothing else in front of you than the great Pacific ocean... It will not get any better! So what I need to do is gather some good friends, make a plan and start saving some $$... And who knows, maybe this dream isn' that far away after all...

The second Malibu is of a different kind... It is a logo from a famous coconut liqueur... A logo which I've decided to have as my second tattoo... As I am a sucker for palmtrees and beaches as well as sunsets... Also the place Malibu as above... I know there is no better motive...


Until I can make both of these things/dreams happen, I guess I just have to keep on dreaming for a while...